Flirt Glossary – Speed Dating
Speed dating is a trend from the USA that is becoming increasingly popular here. It's a quick way to get to know each other , whether it's a potential partner or just a flirt or friendship. You can also find leisure partners for joint activities such as sports, traveling, etc.
Construction and process
Speed dating is an organized blind date . Several singles, with the same gender ratio, meet at a fixed location and have a time-limited conversation (approx. 5-10 minutes) with each other.
You can then mark on a piece of paper who you would like to get to know. The contact details will then be passed on by the organizer if there is interest on both sides.
In contrast to personal ads, you can get an idea of the other person through the short conversation and decide after a few sentences whether the person sitting opposite is likeable. It's a very direct way to get to know another person and everyone knows why the other is there.
Origin and provenance
Originally, speed dating was a contact platform from the USA for single Jewish people with the prospect of increasing the number of Jewish marriages. This method was also used to find business contacts. The author (since 1998) is considered to be Rabbi Yaacov Deyo, a member of the Orthodox Jewish organization Aish HaTorah based in Los Angeles (California, USA).
The speed dating founded by Rabbi Deyo was soon followed by various speed dating events, usually commercially oriented events without religious requirements, in which equal numbers of male and female single people take part.
Where do speed dating events take place?
Events of this kind take place regularly in almost all major German cities. For open, curious people, speed dating offers a good method to meet a partner for life.
If you are thinking about using this form of dating, we recommend that you prepare briefly. For example, write down the qualities you would like to see in the other person and then formulate a few concise questions that you would like to ask. 5-10 minutes is very short to get an idea of the potential partner. Therefore, you save yourself a lot of stress and can appear confident.
An overview of events in many large German cities can be found here:
DateYork – Speed Dating in your city
Study results and criticism
Speed dating events have already been the focus of scientific research on several occasions. It emerged that the “inner” values that were often mentioned and heard were largely irrelevant for both genders at such events. The content of the conversation should not count for much, but the results suggested that both sexes primarily wanted to see people again who looked attractive.
In one study setting, scientists assigned participants imaginary ranks based on their physical appearance, which correlated strikingly strongly with subsequent success at these events.
Another interesting study at Humboldt University shows how much time and money an average single would have to invest before he or she becomes successful. According to the psychologists' results, until a participant has found a permanent relationship, they have to spend an average of 75 hours of speed chatting and invest a total of 550 euros.
Professor Jens Asendorpf and his colleagues sent 384 real singles between the ages of 18 and 54 to speed dating. The test subjects had to fill out questionnaires, were filmed while chatting, were allowed to sniff each other for three minutes, then they were changed. Afterwards, those in need of love should write down cards about who they would like to see again. If both interlocutors voted “yes”, they received the contact details of the chosen person.
The result: 40% of the participants then called each other on the phone and 39% met for a date. After six weeks, the 15 participants said they had found at least one sex partner. 25 believed a relationship was developing. The next love check after a year showed: Only 17 of the 384 searchers were still with their speed date. At a cost of around 30 euros for an evening, according to the scientists, you have to spend around 550 euros to reap love at some point.
However, this is a very hypothetical case that simply does not apply to an individual participant. Ultimately, you still have the cards in your own hands and can actively contribute to your happiness in love.
Differences between women and men
When it comes to speed dating, men are apparently less demanding than women. While they want to see almost every second woman again, women reject two out of three men.
Or are men disadvantaged in speed dating? A new study by US psychologists Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick from Northwestern University in Evanston provides surprising findings: that women are more selective can only be observed when men wander from table to table during the short get-to-know-you meeting while the women remain seated were allowed. This can no longer be determined when roles are reversed, reports the online service of the specialist magazine “Nature”.
You can also find a selection of test reports and articles on speed dating providers via the following link:
