Classic dating sites for traditional heterosexually oriented love are a dime a dozen. But what if you are one of the people who feel like you belong to a minority community such as LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer) and polyamory?
Then the search for a suitable counterpart is often much more difficult. Like-minded people are severely underrepresented in general singles exchanges and large dating portals with a heterosexual orientation.
The desire for partner happiness becomes a search for the famous needle in a haystack. And who would want to waste countless hours on frustrating experiences, failed attempts to get to know each other and failed dating attempts if there isn't a better, faster and less complicated way?
A virtual haven for a young, open generation beyond a monogamous relationship construct - that was the mission of the two founders Tobias Betschart and Tobias Knaus when they launched the first portal of free love on June 3, 2020.
The world is becoming more and more colorful and open to a wide variety of concepts of life and love. The dating platform Poly-Amorie.de makes a further contribution here.
But let’s clarify basic questions first…
What is polyamory?
People express love in different ways and no two relationships are the same. Polyamory and the fact of having a relationship with more than one person has become an increasingly controversial topic of discussion in recent years.
Although most people have heard the term polyamory, not everyone realizes the meaning or dynamics of these non-monogamous relationships.
The sober definition according to Wikipedia is:
“Polyamory or polyamory refers to a form of love life in which a person loves several partners and maintains a romantic relationship with each of them, whereby this fact is known to everyone involved and is lived consensually.”.
So a polyamorous relationship is a type of non-monogamous relationship that differs from a “normal” relationship in that multiple people are involved – not just two. Polyamory is a made-up word and is intended to make it clear that it is not just about sex, but about love.
The term is related to polygamy or plurality. The latter refers to a form of polygamy and the conduct of simultaneous marriage-like relationships. Polygamy is based on the concept of polyamory.
Polyamory is often mistakenly viewed as an open relationship - which isn't always the case.
In reality, polyamorous relationships are unique because they consist of multiple loving partnerships. So it's not just about sex.
Photo by Sandy Millar @sandym10, Unsplash
Different concepts
Polyamorous relationships can vary from couple to couple.
For some people, a polyamorous relationship means being in a relationship with multiple people but essentially having one primary partner. For others, polyamory is the ability to be in two completely separate relationships at the same time.
The basic philosophy of polyamory is that sexual love should not be limited to the strict boundaries of monogamy, but should be freely and fully expressed. Another feature of polyamory is that both people know their partner's lovers.
There is open communication between the partners.
How can polyamory work?
Since relationships of this type do not follow the common social construct of a relationship, this relationship pattern often leads to confusion or shaking of heads among outsiders.
For such a relationship to be successful, everyone involved must communicate openly and honestly about what they expect, want and need from the relationship.
This is the essential cornerstone for a stable partnership of more than two partners.
Although openness and freedom are the top maxims of this model, there are still boundaries that are important for success - be it by specifically defining who can enter into a relationship (and with whom) or by limiting how much time with can be spent with each partner.
Maintaining open communication is an essential factor in ensuring that problems do not arise. If this fails, secrets arise and jealousy can manifest and spread.
Is polyamory natural?
This form of connection between more than two partners does not only exist among humans, but can also be observed in the animal world.
Therefore, one can certainly postulate that this form of open relationship is natural and has its place in our world.
In return, one could also ask the question: “Is monogamy natural?”
Poly-Amorie.de – The new freedom to love
Back to the newly founded online platform for polyamorous people. Among the target group of this dating site, the desire to throw monogamous ways of thinking overboard is at the top.
One's own sexuality is more in the foreground than ever - especially among young people - and inclinations outside of convention no longer want to be hidden.
It can be observed that social acceptance of alternative relationship models and partnership constructs is increasing. This is also evident in the media, TV shows and influencers and advertising figures. However, there is still a long way to go to completely break down the classic monogamous image of relationships in a society that is almost exclusively heterosexual.
Thanks to Poly-Amorie.de, you no longer have to spend time on dubious and shady platforms to meet like-minded people. There is no taboo, labeling or social ostracism here just because of the alternative way of living and loving outside of the usual gender roles and relationship models.
Further questions about this alternative form of relationship are answered in the following article from the Badische Neue Nachrichten “ Polyamory: Why should I only love one person?”
These also include “Polyamory and Children: Is it possible?” , “ Is there jealousy in polyamorous relationships?” and “Why not just be monogamous?”
Inspired by bloggers and influencers
The approximately one-year development phase of the platform took place at all stages in close coordination with bloggers and influencers, such as Nadine Primo, who deal intensively with the topic of open sexuality.
The feedback, opinions and feedback on the idea, concept and implementation were directly incorporated into the development. In this way, the real needs, wishes and special features of the community could be captured in their full spectrum and taken into account from the very first hour. That was also the birth of the first collaborations, which continue to stimulate the further development of the contact exchange today.
What does the dating site have to offer?
Poly-Amorie.de is a place for free love. All types of sexuality, gender roles and types of relationships are welcome here.
In addition to women, men and couples, diverse and transgender people can also register to look for a partner or to exchange ideas with the community. Registration is free.
Likewise, creating your own profile including information about your sexual orientation and a meaningful profile about yourself.
The profile is then spruced up with pictures that can be placed in open or private albums.
Using the open search function, you can quickly find suitable contacts in Germany, Austria and Switzerland and then get in touch with them via the in-house chat.
In order to keep fakes, spammers and scammers away, new profiles, images and free texts are checked manually. An authenticity check is possible on a voluntary basis.
Still a lot in the pipeline...
For the founders of the platform, the journey is far from over. There are still numerous plans on the table just waiting to be implemented. The contact exchange is to be gradually expanded and developed into a complete universe of free sexuality.
We are already working hard to give members the opportunity to write and publish their own contributions.
An absolute unique feature of Poly-Amorie.de, in contrast to general dating sites or well-known social networks, is that there is explicitly no sexual taboo.
The consistent inclusion of feedback from their members or people from the community in the further development of the platform is also commendable. This shows that the needs and wishes of the target group are taken seriously.
They thank the operators with positive feedback and active participation. This could be the recipe for a real success story and we wish operators and members a wonderful journey in the world of free love.
4.5