In our sexually oriented society, asexuality often viewed as a deviation. But for many people on the asexual spectrum, the absence of sexual attraction and desire is a conscious choice that allows for deep fulfillment and relationships on a different level.
In this post you will learn more about how people without sexual needs can live their lives and still find deep relationships.
What is asexuality?
Asexuality is a topic that is often ignored or taboo in our society. Many people have never heard of asexuality and cannot imagine what it would be like to not have sexual needs.
But for asexual people, this is a reality. They feel no attraction or desire for sexual activity and are therefore part of the asexual spectrum.
Although a person's sexuality is often considered an important part of their identity , we should realize that there is much more to life than just sex and relationships .
This article is about how asexual people can find fulfillment without sexual needs and what support they can receive on their journey to self-love.
The Quiet Revolution of Asexuality: How Asexual People Find Fulfillment Without Sexual Needs
Asexuality is a topic that is often overlooked in society and is often misunderstood due to a lack of knowledge or prejudice. But asexual people have always existed and will always exist.
For many asexual people, sex simply means nothing or they do not experience sexual attraction to other people. However, that doesn't mean they can't lead a fulfilling life.
On the contrary: Asexual people find fulfillment in other ways , for example through deep friendships, hobbies or careers. It is important to emphasize that every person has their own way of expressing themselves and finding happiness - regardless of their sexuality or orientation.
Photo by Tsunami Green @tsunamigreen, via Unsplash
There is a wide spectrum of human sexuality and asexuality is just one of them. If you stay open to new perspectives and are willing to engage with people from different walks of life, you can learn a lot about your own sexuality - even if you are not asexual.
Asexuality not only shows us the existence of another facet of human sexuality, but also how we can all fulfill our lives - regardless of our sexual needs or preferences.
It's about every person finding their own answers and going their own way in life - without pressure from outside and without condemnation from society.
Overall, the topic offers a great opportunity for each of us to re-evaluate our thoughts about love and relationships, as well as question our own beliefs about sexuality and life.
We should all strive to better understand our own and other people's sexuality and to be more understanding of the diversity of human relationships.
Support and acceptance on the path to self-love
Finding a path to self-love In a society that views sexuality as a natural part of human life, asexual people can often feel like they don't belong or are “abnormal.”
It is important that these people find support and acceptance from others within the asexuality community. This also means connecting with other asexual people and encouraging each other.
A relationship without sexual attraction can be just as deep and meaningful as a romantic relationship between two sexually active people.
discovering other possibilities for intimacy and connection beyond sex Orientations can change over the course of life and it is important to remain open to changes in the spectrum of asexuality and to adapt your own life accordingly.
Usually no distress
Where does the lack of sexual interest in other people come from? Johannes Fuß , head of the Institute for Forensic Psychiatry and Sexual Research at the University of Duisburg-Essen , gives no explanation for this.
It is important to emphasize that asexuality is neither a disorder nor requires treatment.
“Asexuals typically don’t feel pain or pressure because of their orientation. And if there is no suffering, there is no need for treatment,”
explains the specialist in psychiatry and psychotherapy. Instead, the disorder is often rooted in the environment: a lack of knowledge about asexuality often leads to those affected being stigmatized or put under pressure.
Asexual dating – go your own way!
There is also a quiet revolution in the search for a partner – asexual dating . Asexual people can now find like-minded people on special platforms and exchange ideas. This is not about sexual attraction or needs, but about connections on an emotional level.
It's about meeting people who understand and accept that sexuality is not the center of life. The asexuality spectrum is broad and there are many types of asexual feeling.
For some people it may mean that they will never feel sexually attracted; for others, it simply means a low interest in sexual activity. Being aware of and accepting these differences is important when interacting with other asexual people in dating and relationships.
Gleichklang – alternative dating site for asexuals
The online dating platform Gleichklang supports asexual singles in their search for a partner by specifically arranging platonic relationships. The asexual mediation option suggests people who are also interested in purely platonic relationships.
To ensure that members can effectively search for partners in Gleichklang , the operators ask all members whether they are interested in a platonic relationship or exclusively.
Asexual members can decide for themselves whether they only want to receive suggestions where there is an exclusive interest in a purely platonic relationship or whether they are also interested in suggestions where there could be other intentions in addition to an interest in a platonic relationship.
Asexual people often find it more difficult than others to find a suitable partner for a romantic relationship on mainstream dating sites. Those responsible for Gleichklang recognized this and began introducing special mediation services for asexuality many years ago.
Success values clearly show that with Gleichklang , asexual singles actually have a good chance of finding a suitable partner and being permanently happy together.
You can find our test report on Gleichklang here.
Friendship instead of romantic love
Asexual people find space in friendships to open up emotionally and connect with others on a deep level. They can devote their time and energy strong bonds without having to focus on sexual intimacy.
This allows them to lead fulfilling lives that are not influenced by societal expectations. It is important to recognize that the spectrum of sexuality is wide and every person has different needs.
For many asexual people, it can be liberating to realize that they are not alone and that there are ways to find fulfillment in their lives - whether through friendship or other aspects of life beyond sex and romantic relationships.
Alternative options for intimacy without sex
Asexual people can develop friendships that are just as intense and meaningful as romantic relationships. In addition, they can forge deep connections with other people through shared hobbies or interests
Photo by courtney coles @kernieflakes, via Unsplash
When it comes to physical closeness, there are many options beyond sexual contact. , cuddling, hugging or massage are wonderful ways to be close and show physical affection to one another.
Exchange, change and growth within the community
In the asexuality community, it is important to be open to change and growth. The spectrum of asexuality is very broad and every person experiences their asexual orientation differently - from romantic attraction to the absence of any sexual feelings.
It is therefore normal that the understanding of asexuality in society and within the community is constantly evolving. By engaging with new information and sharing our own experiences, we can all learn and grow.
“Many people are confused about their feelings for a long time and suffer from not fitting into the usual mold. “You have a strong need for exchange and advice,”
explains Brüning about the situation of asexuals before clarification.
WhatsApp -based community “Anteaters – Community for the asexual and aromantic spectrum” offers an opportunity for an important exchange . This can be found on a Facebook page of the same name. Those interested can also find support at Aspec*german or the AktivistA association .
Many asexuals would have liked more information and support as young people. There is nothing worse than not knowing who you are.
In the past, it was often assumed that asexual people could not form relationships or feel love. However, we now know that this is not true - many asexual people feel deep emotional commitment to other people, even in the absence of sexual attraction.
By interacting with other members of this community, one can find new ways to build intimate relationships and experience deep connection. Another aspect of change in the asexuality community concerns the topic of desire . Many people mistakenly believe that asexual people cannot experience any pleasure.
However, there are actually many types of pleasure - physical pleasure is just one of them. By being open to new ideas and experiences, asexual people can discover what types of pleasure they can experience and how to enjoy them.
Frequently asked questions about asexuality
How do you know you're asexual?
Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which people do not feel sexually attracted or aroused. There are various signs that you might be asexual.
A person may find that they have no sexual feelings toward other people or have no interest in sexuality. If you're asexual, you can't have any desire to masturbate.
Another sign of asexuality can be the lack of romantic feelings. Asexual people cannot be romantically attracted to other people and often have no desire for a relationship or marriage.
However, it is important to note that every person is different and it is possible that some asexuals may experience some level of sexual desire. This is referred to as a “grey area”.
If you think you are asexual, you should speak to a professional and get advice. There are also online asexual communities where you can connect with others and find support. It's normal to be asexual and there are many ways to live happily without having sexuality as a part of your life.
When is one considered asexual?
You are considered asexual if you no or very little sexual desire and interest in other people . Asexual people do not feel sexual attraction towards other people and have no desire for sexual activity.
However, asexuals can have romantic feelings and be attracted to other people without resulting in a sexual relationship. One then speaks of romantic orientation .
It is important to emphasize that asexuality is not a disorder or illness, but a natural variation in human sexuality. There are various reasons why someone may be asexual, such as hormonal factors or personal experiences.
Finding a universal definition of asexuality is difficult, says Irina Brüning , board member of AktivistA, an association that wants to make the asexual spectrum visible. One could say that asexuality is a sexual orientation towards nothing.
However, two definitions have now been established: “Many people say that they do not feel sexual attraction towards others ,” says Brüning. “Others prefer to express it by saying they have no desire for sexual interaction.”
Is asexuality normal?
Such an orientation is completely normal and occurs in a part of the population (around 1%). There are various reasons for asexuality, including biological factors.
Asexual people often struggle with prejudice and lack of understanding because society takes sexuality for granted and finds it difficult to accept a deviant orientation. However, there is now more and more educational work on the subject of asexuality and acceptance of asexual people is also becoming greater LGBT community
It is important to emphasize that asexuality is not the same as abstinence or abstinence. It is a sexual orientation that is just as normal as any other. Every person has the right to their own sexuality and this should be respected.
Further information and contact points
- aok.de/pk/magazin/familie/liebe-sexualitaet/was-ist-asexualitaet
- lovesleben.de/fuer-alle/sexual-orientation/asexualitaet
- regenbogenportal.de
- web.de/magazine/liebe-partnerschaft/asexualitaet-sex-erfuellt-leben-37078210
- AktivistA neV – Association for the visibility of the asexual spectrum
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