Breaking up a relationship can be a difficult time and finding inner peace can be challenging.
After a separation and divorce, numerous questions that concern women and men alike. How do you cope with life alone? How do you shape the future with your children? How do friends and family react to the new situation? What financial flexibility do you have? How do you find inner balance again?
And last but not least: How do you manage to find a new partner who really suits you? For many people, the end of a partnership means immense uncertainty and difficult reorientation .
Suddenly the familiar role as a (spouse) partner and parent is over or changes significantly. The pain of separation , damaged self-esteem as well as injuries and insults can make it difficult to start over.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema @kellysikkema, via Unsplash
In this article we would like to help you come to terms with your divorce and give you tips and advice on how you can find inner peace again and start a new beginning in your future.
Let's find out together how you can find inner peace again after a breakup
The divorce process in four steps
If you have decided to divorce your spouse, it is important to be clear about the exact process of divorce. A divorce is only possible if a year of separation has passed between the spouses.
However, there are rare exceptional cases in which the year of separation can be waived if there are appropriate reasons.
Before you begin the divorce process , it is advisable to be clear the steps and formalities required
Step 1: Filing for Divorce
In order to initiate a divorce in family court, a divorce petition must be filed by a licensed attorney. The court then assigns a legal file number under which the divorce proceedings will be handled from now on.
It is not possible for a private individual to file for divorce in court without legal representation. The divorce application first contains the personal data of the spouses concerned, such as names, addresses and dates of birth.
The spouse who submits the divorce petition to the court through his or her lawyer is known as the petitioner. The other spouse is referred to as the respondent.
The legal representation
If a divorce is amicable and there are no disputes between the spouses, it is sufficient for the applicant to be represented by a divorce lawyer . The Anke Knauf law firm in Leipzig ( divorce lawyer Leipzig ) is experienced in family law and can help you with the divorce proceedings.
In this case, the respondent does not need his or her own lawyer because he or she does not file his or her own application, but simply agrees to the other spouse's application for divorce.
However, it is important to note that this option should only be chosen if there are truly no concerns or need for advice. The divorce application contains information about the number of marriages, the nationality of both spouses and whether there are children in common or from previous marriages.
A copy of the marriage certificate and the birth certificates of any minor children must be enclosed with the application. Copies of identity cards can also be attached.
Further information in the divorce application includes the time of separation, the last shared address and the time when one spouse moved out. The duration of the separation period and possible attempts at reconciliation reported. Finally, it is stated whether one or both spouses want a divorce.
The following information provides information about whether the spouses are in a dispute regarding custody and visitation rights for their minor children.
It is also explained whether there are tensions regarding child support, post-marital support, household goods, the marital home or the equalization of gains.
The lawyer also presents the court with information about whether the spouses have signed a marriage contract and whether the pension equalization (the equalization of pension entitlements during the marriage period) should be carried out by the court.
Finally, the divorce application is signed by the lawyer and several copies are submitted to the court by the law firm. The court will also serve a copy of the petition on the other spouse.
Step 2: Carrying out the pension equalization
In order to carry out the pension adjustment , the court will send each spouse a questionnaire, which must be filled out, signed and dated and returned to the court in triplicate (with attachments if necessary).
The court will write to pension providers such as the German pension insurance, Riester pension and pension funds and ask for information about how much pension each spouse earned during the marriage.
With a few exceptions, these pension entitlements are balanced between the spouses.
If the spouse is advised and represented by a lawyer, the lawyer receives the information from the pension provider and checks it for his client.
As soon as all the information is available, the court usually sends information and a proposed calculation to both spouses or their lawyers. This can be checked by both spouses and, if necessary, objected to.
Step 3: The divorce date
There is a requirement that both spouses - with the exception of spouses who are ill or abroad - must be present at the court divorce hearing. The divorce will be discussed at the hearing.
If a spouse's legal advisor has already submitted subsequent applications to the court, such as the equalization of gains, maintenance or the distribution of household goods, these applications will also be discussed. The responsible judge will also provide an explanation of the pension equalization and discuss it in detail.
Step 4: The divorce decree
When a divorce decision is made (previously this was called a divorce decree ), it is served on the spouse, who is represented by a lawyer. The resolution will be handed over personally to the unrepresented spouse. The spouse can review the decision and see if it is correct.
If there are no complaints and neither spouse files an appeal, the divorce decision becomes final. This means that the spouses are finally divorced from this date.
A stamp, known as a res judicata, is affixed to the original decision. With this decision, the married name can be changed back to the maiden name.
If the spouses want a particularly quick divorce and do not want to wait for the one-month appeal period, both spouses must be represented by a lawyer.
Only two lawyers can declare a waiver of appeal during the court hearing. As soon as this waiver is submitted, the spouses are immediately legally divorced.
The Importance of Finalizing a Divorce
If you have decided to pursue a divorce, it may have been a long and painful journey. But even after the decision has been made and all legal steps have been taken, finalizing the divorce can play an important role in finding inner peace.
Finalizing a divorce not only means the end of a marriage, but also the end of a chapter in life.
It allows you to focus on your future and explore new paths. However, achieving this closure can be difficult, especially when emotional attachments are involved.
However, handling your divorce properly can help you find closure and finally find inner peace.
Processing emotions after a divorce
After a divorce, many people go through an emotional rollercoaster. It's normal to feel sad, lonely, angry or even relieved.
These emotions must be processed in order to find inner peace. It can be helpful to take time for yourself and accept your own feelings.
Another option is to talk about it with friends or family or to seek professional help.
It is important not to get lost in the negative emotions and instead focus on the positive things in life. By processing your emotions, you can ultimately gain more clarity and finish better.
The importance of self-care and self-reflection
To find inner peace after a divorce, it is of great importance to take care of yourself. Self-care and self-reflection are essential here. It's about paying attention to your own needs and taking time for relaxation and recovery.
Reflecting on the past relationship and your own actions can also help you process the pain and find inner peace.
It is important not to criticize or condemn yourself, but rather to learn from mistakes and accept yourself. Through self-care and self-reflection, you can learn to get to know yourself better and build a positive relationship with yourself - an important step on the path to inner peace.
Dealing with feelings of guilt and responsibility
It's normal feel guilty and to worry about who is responsible for the end of the marriage. But it is important to realize that a marriage is always supported by both partners and not just one.
So it's not fair to take sole responsibility for the relationship's failure. Even if you've made mistakes, you shouldn't blame yourself entirely ( focus & netmoms : Feelings of guilt after a breakup: You can do that ).
Instead, you should try to learn from the mistakes you made and use these experiences positively in future relationships.
It is also recommended to talk to a therapist or coach about your own feelings of guilt and responsibilities in order to find inner peace and deal with such situations in a healthier way in the future.
Finding new goals and perspectives
When you've been through a divorce, it can be difficult to focus on the future. But finding new goals and perspectives can help you find inner peace and regain hope.
It's important to take time to reflect on life and figure out what makes you happy. Maybe there are things you've always wanted to do or places you've always wanted to travel.
It can also be helpful to take up new hobbies or activities to gain new experiences and make new friends.
Finding new goals and perspectives requires courage and openness to change. But if you're ready, it can be an important step on the road to healing.
The Value of Professional Help in Coping with Divorce
It's no secret that a divorce can be one of the most difficult experiences in life. Finding inner peace can be difficult, especially when you have to deal with it alone.
This is where professional help comes into play. An experienced therapist or attorney can help you process your emotions and sort your thoughts as you go through the divorce process. It is important to understand that there is no shame in seeking professional help.
In fact, it can be a sign of strength and self-care to seek support from someone who has the knowledge and experience to help you through this difficult time.
By choosing professional support, you can be confident that you are on the right path to regaining inner peace and successfully completing your divorce.
Learning acceptance and letting go as part of the closure process
An important part of the closure process after a divorce is learning acceptance and letting go. This step can often be difficult as you get used to the usual routine and life together with your ex-partner.
However, it is important to understand that holding on to past memories and emotions prevents us from finding inner peace and moving forward in our lives.
Learning acceptance doesn't mean you have to accept everything or forget what happened. It's more about accepting that the relationship is over and letting go to make room for new experiences and relationships in our lives.
This attitude allows us to focus on our own needs and take control of our lives again.
Conclusions
With the right approach and support, it is possible to find inner peace after a divorce and start a new chapter in life.
In conclusion, it is entirely possible to find inner peace and start a new chapter in life after a divorce. It is important to choose the right approach and get professional support.
An important step is to consciously deal with your own feelings and accept them. The environment also plays a crucial role: friends and family can provide support and support.
It's also worth discovering new interests and hobbies to get your life back on track. With patience and the right attitude, you can find inner peace after a divorce and look to the future with strength.
