The end of a relationship is always a painful experience – at least for one of the partners. Perhaps you have tried a variety of things to save the relationship: discussions, couples counseling, a temporary separation. Unfortunately nothing helped and now we're going our separate ways.
Or, as a man, you left your girlfriend because other things were more important to you, such as your job or career.
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But now you realize that spending time with this woman was one of the best things you've ever experienced. They really want you back!
The good news for you: it's probably not too late to win your ex-girlfriend back .
But you shouldn't act hastily and headlessly, nor should you make half-hearted attempts. You want to do it right because the woman means a lot to you and you don't want to give up your chances for a second try lightly.
This absolutely requires a considered and at the same time courageous approach. A strategy is needed. Here is a small selection of valuable ideas and suggestions to significantly increase your chances of starting again.
1) Write to her
Sometimes distance causes feelings to become stronger again and longing to arise. But it can also be that a new man unexpectedly quickly enters your ex's life. This means that you shouldn't take too long, but also don't rush it and definitely don't be the first to call.
It's better to use a piece of tried-and-tested paper and write her a few nice lines. Avoid raunchy or otherwise explicit hints or invitations. The best thing to do is to try to remember the beautiful moments you had together and talk about how much good time you both had together.
There is definitely something special that connects you (e.g. a certain event, a shared passion, a romantic song, etc.). Reflect on this and write a text that will warm your heart.
If your ex doesn't respond to your letter as desired, move on to the next tip.
2) Take it easy
You have already won her heart once. But that doesn't mean that you can now go from zero to one hundred in a very short time. You just have to get behind the wheel again. Take it easy and under no circumstances put pressure on your lovely ex-girlfriend .
First of all, meet again for a non-binding conversation on neutral ground. Don't immediately suggest moving back in together. Enjoy small progress and don't rush into the house. This will only scare your ex away and you will achieve the opposite.
3) Call, maybe…
Once initial contact has been re-established, suggest an innocuous phone call. It will probably be good for her to just hear your voice again. Therefore, emails, Facebook messages or WhatsApp not an alternative!
At the end of the conversation, suggest a relaxed meeting to visit a museum, go for a walk or go to the cinema. If she agrees, you will have the chance to spend time together again without pressure. However, be clear that a commitment on your part means just that: a non-binding meeting.
Don't mistake this as a sign that she wants you back too. If she doesn't agree, give her time. Don't beg! Don't cry! Don't go after her! If your ex still has feelings for you, then she will make a move towards you at a time decided by HER.
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4) Tell her you miss her
Even if you take it for granted, tell her: “I miss you!” By doing this you will clearly address their emotional level and this will have an impact.
If she accepts your invitation to a meeting, stay relaxed. You are on the right track.
Choose innocuous topics of conversation on the date. Ask how she's been doing, how things are going at work, whether the dog still pees on the couch, or something like that.
Avoid serious topics and definitely do not bring up old problems in your former relationship. This will go to shit very quickly. Show genuine interest in her life and put yourself aside.
Also show your emotional and vulnerable side calmly. This increases your chances. Watch how she reacts and read the signs.
5) Take responsibility
When your conversation becomes deeper and you have warmed up to each other again, you can go one step further: admit your mistakes and take responsibility for them. If you have hurt your ex-girlfriend deeply, apologize sincerely.
If you are not entirely sure which mistakes were made by which side, it is helpful to visit a relationship therapist. Then work through the mistakes you made and think about how you can make them right.
Then you have to take responsibility and correct these mistakes - no matter what your ex did. This can be very difficult, after all you have to jump over your shadow and put your pride aside. What is more important to you? Winning back your or holding on to your false pride?
6) Don't rehash the past
Distance yourself from discussing and rehashing the past and old problems. Once you become aware of the problems and mistakes, close down and move forward.
Instead, focus on the positive aspects of your old relationship and the things that brought you both together.
7) Leverage your mutual circle of friends
There's a high chance that your friend circles overlapped, if not coincided. Use this for your project!
Even if you feel like making a complete fresh start and want to avoid old memories, try to stay in touch with mutual friends if possible.
Events and parties with the old gang are an even better opportunity to casually reconnect with each other. You laugh with friends, have fun, have a good time and maybe there will be a good opportunity to pull your ex aside for a moment and confess to her how much she is still worth to you.
This path has already led to success many times.
8) Don't compare your experiences after the relationship ends
It's best to just pretend that the gap after the relationship ended didn't exist. You both had life after your relationship together and tried to deal with the breakup, each in your own way.
But that doesn't mean you have to bring up every detail of it. She doesn't need to know what bad dates you've had in the meantime or what desperate attempts you've made to forget her.
Likewise, you shouldn't ask her whether and how many men she met after you and how those dates went.
9) Show off your romantic side
While romantic acts of chivalry are not the most important elements in getting back with your ex, they do play a significant role. Chocolates, greeting cards and flowers are the classic clichés that are used in almost every love story, but for good reason: they work!
But don't overdo it or let it get too cheesy. A simple love letter that emphasizes why you love her and what makes your ex a special person in your life is enough. Add a few flowers and you're well on your way. Court the old school way and you won't fail to make an impact.
10) Develop a concept for your restart
A common reason why a relationship breaks up is a lack of commitment, commitment or dedication to the partnership. Or there was a lack of a clear plan as to where the journey should go. Men sometimes have difficulty committing or making commitments.
If you see the reasons for the failure of your relationship here, it is extremely important that you think carefully about what you expect from a partnership and what concept you have in store for a potential new start for both of you. Didn't you want to tie yourself down? Didn't you want to move in together? Did you not want children (yet)? What has changed now?
Show your ex that you have given it serious thought and that you are ready for the next step with her. No woman will consider getting back together with you if she feels like things aren't moving forward... at least a little bit.
Tips and advice from experts
Scenario Two – Winning your ex back: These 8 steps = relationship with your ex again
Related articles
I hope that these ten tips have given you a few good approaches and ideas to successfully win back your ex-girlfriend. However, this article only gives you a general framework and further details would go beyond the scope.
You will receive a lot of further information, tips and advice directly from relationship experts who provide numerous practical tips on how to win your ex girlfriend back in this Focus article .
You can also find another article on the topic that is worth reading on the BILD Zeitung website. There, the well-known PRO7 lady Natascha Sagorski gives helpful tips on how to get your ex-girlfriend back without making a complete idiot of yourself: Bild.de - Guide - Partnership - Separation
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